Oh there are so many ways! First, no one is looking out for you. You are the mom--the one and only--the keeper of the home. My mother once told me, "you can be so frazzled you are ready to pull your hair out, telling your kids 'mommy needs a break--just a second' and those cute little munchkins will still start begging for dinner" You can be stressed, depressed and your children will most likely NEVER come up to you and say, "Hey mom, you look like you could use a break. Why don't you go put your feet up and we'll go play a board game"
Second, motherhood never ends. Sleep is SO important to mental well-being. Most mothers do NOT get enough sleep!
Third, there is always more you can do. Too much to do, and not enough time. Do this, do that--run run run! Anxiety producing right?
Fourth, you are invisible (read link posted below titled, "Invisible Mom") which may lead you to feel inferior. Especially when you begin comparing yourself to other moms or successful business women.
Fifth, It is the most important job on the planet. You can do more good by being a great mother than any other occupation you may choose. Satan knows this. He knows if he can make you give up on yourself--if he can get into your home and the lives of your children--he will claim victory not only on you and your children, but their children and generations to come. No pressure right?
SO WHAT DOES A MENTALLY HEALTHY MOTHER LOOK LIKE?
Let's analyze the five reason listed above
1) You are the ONLY person who will take care of you. Yeah, your husband will try and help and even do a pretty good job, but you and only you knows when you need help, when you need a break, and what you need to recharge your batteries. Know what you need and when you need it. Don't wait until you haven't slept for three weeks to call the neighbor to watch your kids while you nap. Do it sooner. Take care of yourself physically, spiritually, and mentally so you have the love and energy to give your family. Don't feel guilt over taking care of yourself! When you are depressed or overwhelmed, you are not as good as a mother. Remember that and take care of yourself! Try to not loose yourself completely. Learn a new skill, or find a hobby.
2) Sleep is so very important. Nap when your baby naps. Occasionally put a movie on for your kids and take a nap on the couch while they watch it (or call a neighbor). You are thinking, "But I feel so guilty. I don't want the TV to be a babysitter." Once in a while this is just fine. Take care of yourself and you will have more energy to be more attentive to them the rest of the day.
3) Erase your unrealistic expectations of perfect motherhood. There is no perfect mother. I don't care if you swear your neighbor really is the perfect mom. She isn't. You don't see everything she does. News flash!--Children apparently do not need perfect mothers to thrive! Otherwise God wouldn't send them down to us. Always work to be your best but don't look at others for a standard. Is God pleased with your parenthood? That truly is all that matters. Be patient with yourself. You are not born a good mother--you become one by raising your children throughout their lives.
4) You will probably never get the appreciation you deserve. So don't expect it. YOU are the one to tell yourself, "good job." Take your job in strides. Somewhere down the road, your children will thank you. They will recognize the millions of hours of service you gave to them. They will recognize that you basically gave up everything to raise them. Even if they don't--God knows. You are amazing, and SO important! You have to tell yourself because your children are too young and immature to tell you.
5) Recognize that every time you feel inferior, depressed, hopeless, or inadequate, these are feelings from Satan. Do not entertain them. Talk to yourself positively. Accept mistakes and move on. Pray for guidance and charity as you raise the most precious little people on the planet.
God Sees all you do!
Every mother must read this!
The Invisible Mom
So much to do...So little time
Let's face it. We are busy people, us moms. I have found that sometimes we don't have extra hours to think up and perform amazing, entertaining fun and learning for our children. We have to incorporate it into what we do every day. My two kids are still very small so these will not apply to everyone, but I have a few things I do that seem to make our days less monotonous.
1- Everyone knows this one...if you're going to make pancakes anyway...make them into shapes or letters. (Adding blueberries or other berries gives it a fun color and extra vitamins. I only use a small handful blended up and it doesn't change the taste of the pancake.)
3- Once you trust your children with safety scissors, have a box with craft items such as a glue stick, glitter glue, scrapbook and/or safety scissors, stickers, colored paper, popsicle sticks, pipe cleaners, beads, etc. When you need to start making dinner, or just need them to entertain themselves you can pull out the box. You'll be surprised what they'll come up with on their own. No thought required from you. Also check out "busy bags" on Pinterest. These things are great.
4- Anytime you make dinner with potatoes or apples, cut a potato (or apple) in half, cut a shape out of it, and let your kids dip them in paint and create pictures while you finish cooking (right before dinner is always a hard time, right?)
5- Take every opportunity to throw in some preschool lessons. When they help you put away the clean silverware, they are learning to sort. Have them say the colors of the clothes they either help or watch you fold. While you are preparing another part of the meal, have them sort the carrots you need into a line, big to small. Every time you go to the library, get at least one non-fiction book. The opportunities are endless.
6- The cardboard box principle: Everyone knows that kids love simple things...like he cardboard box their toy came in. Our homes, and lives are filled with simple, entertaining things. For playtime, offer your kids boxes, a can of shaving cream (in your kitchen up to the table--shaving cream is cheap and there are fun things to do with it, like spell words in it with your finger, or add food coloring drops to it, swirl with a paint brush, press a sheet of paper into it and wallah you have art!), little kids love dumping water. Set your largest mixing bowl (full of water) out in the yard. Set a stack of cups next to it. They will scoop and dump for hours. Probably ages 8 months to 18 months like this the best. (supervision required!) Set your older baby next to an open drawer of pans or lids. A messy kitchen, yes, but it's fairly simple clean up and they have so much fun! Really all you have to do is look around your house, find something safe, and let your kids use it for another purpose.
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